Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
