Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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