if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
