there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Drunk is not a location!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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