The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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