dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
