"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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