I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
