oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
