names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
