The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
