When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh god it's open bar.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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