I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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