My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
