Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
