Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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