clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
