I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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