she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
