she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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