Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
