whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
