the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
