Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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