I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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