ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
