Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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