I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
