Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
