Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
