That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
