But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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