when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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