ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
