What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
