you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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