We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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