So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
