I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
