She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
