I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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