This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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