Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
