This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
