his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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