I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
