I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
