i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
