I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
