32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
only you would photoshop your dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
