Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
